Apple Intelligence Interprets the Navy SEAL Copypasta

Of the more humorous potential uses for the upcoming Use Model actions, I think, is this series of tests (all done within the Shortcuts app) of Apple Intelligence's default actions against the Navy SEAL copypasta.

It's worth noting that the following was appended to the end of every result:

Note: Writing Tools aren’t designed to work with this type of content.

Summarize

A Navy SEAL threatens violence and retribution against someone who made an online comment, claiming extensive combat training and access to military resources.

Key Points

• Threat Level: The sender claims to be a highly trained Navy Seal with numerous confirmed kills and access to a vast network of spies.
• Target: The sender is targeting the recipient of the message, claiming to have traced their IP address and vowing to wipe them out.
• Reason for Threat: The sender is angry about a comment made by the recipient online, which they perceive as disrespectful.

Make List from

• The speaker claims to be a highly trained and experienced member of the military.
• They mention their involvement in secret raids and having a high kill count.
• The speaker claims to be skilled in gorilla warfare and sniping.
• They express a desire to eliminate the person they are speaking to with precision.
• The speaker mentions their ability to contact a secret network of spies and track the person’s IP address.
• They threaten to destroy the person’s life and mention their ability to kill in multiple ways.
• The speaker claims to have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps.
• They express a desire to use their military training and resources to eliminate the person they are speaking to.

Rewrite

What on earth did you just say about me, you little bitch? I’ll make it clear that I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals. I’ve been involved in numerous covert raids against Al-Qaeda, and I’ve personally confirmed over 300 kills.

I’m trained in gorilla warfare and hold the title of the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You’re nothing more to me than just another target. I’ll eliminate you with precision that’s unparalleled on this planet, mark my words.

Do you think you can get away with making such a statement to me over the Internet? Think again, you fool. As I speak, I’m contacting my secret network of spies across the USA, and your IP address is being traced right now. So, prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that will obliterate the pathetic existence you call your life. You’re dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I also have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps. I’ll use it to its fullest extent to obliterate your miserable existence from the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you had realized the unholy retribution your “clever” comment was about to unleash upon you, you might have held your tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I’ll unleash fury upon you, and you’ll drown in it.

You’re dead, kiddo.

Professional Tone

I am writing to express my strong disagreement with your recent statement. I would like to clarify that I graduated at the top of my class in the Navy Seals and have participated in numerous covert operations against Al-Qaeda, resulting in over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and am the top sniper in the United States Armed Forces. Your statement is unacceptable, and I will respond with precision and force.

I am currently contacting my network of informants across the United States, and your IP address is being traced. You should prepare for the consequences of your actions. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can eliminate you in numerous ways.

I am extensively trained in unarmed combat and have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps. I will use it to its full extent to eliminate you. If you had known the severity of your statement, you would have refrained from making it.

I am currently retaliating against you, and you will be held accountable for your actions.